by faggus howard

with all the 80s (plus 20s-70s and 90s) comeback looks and free-for-all accessorizing these days, it is down right impossible to know what is stylish and what is just plain stupid. there is a big fucking difference between “fashion” and “style”. without style, you are wearing an advertisement for someone else and paying for it. that’s stupid – sarah palin stupid (her bumpit hair, faux homemaker silhouettes, and shitty shoes make me wonder what she really spent that infamous $150K on.   it wasn’t fashion, that’s for sure. ew.).

a clever shortcut to knowing whether or not you are exhibiting your personal style is to take a look at your fuck buddy’s exes. the fuck buddy’s taste in ass is typically mostly aesthetic. if the exes look like ‘tards, chances are, you do too. for example, let’s say i was having lots of raunchy, dripping wet, steamy, bareback anal sex with brad pitt. i am pretty much guaranteed to have great style and probably effortless fashion sense. as much as i hate to admit it jennifer maniston can dress her/himself pretty damn well, so can armgelina jolie. when it comes to british queen of parliament gwyneth paltrowshire, she fakes it better than most (though deep down she is just a beige empty background plastic plant surrounding herself with the “right” people. why else marry that vegan fag from coldplay?).

to keep yourself above the fray, wear the things that really speak to you. when you want to experiment, make sure that shit fits properly and you are working it as opposed to it working you. this season, i would love nothing more than to tramp around in rompers and western shirts, but i tread lightly. when i wear a romper, i will always wear hose underneath because i’m old, pasty, and cottage cheesy. when i wear a western shirt, i vow to wear nothing else with even the slightest semblance of cowboy chic as i don’t support that stupid fucking hick ass racist law in arizona and refuse to appear like i might.

style makes one confident. not smug. confident=will smith (well earned). smug= will smith’s kids (spoiled rotten).