The Hottest Textures. Right. This. Second.
xx: lace
do yourself a favor ladies: wear lace. often. all men love lace. even gay men. maybe, especially gay men. if you are a natural born woman, you should know by now that natural born men are visual people. we love looking at the things that turn us on and it is even better if that thing is obscured slightly. 
pretty sure this stems from most of us being peeping toms at at least one point in all of our lives. gay or straight, all men have peered through a bush or two with a boner tent making our pants fit awkwardly. don’t try calling me a fucking perv either because hypocrisy is not a guilty pleasure-it is plain fucking guilty. hypocrisy makes some of the spunk i swallowed earlier want to come back up. anyway, if you (women) wear lace, you are instantly hot because we (men) can’t quite see it all. we keep looking and trying to work it out all the while getting HOTter and wetter and harder. wear lace ladies and non-gentile gents! shit, if condoms were lace i would use one every single time.
xy: corduroy
guys, please wear corduroy. please wear corduroy jackets, pants, even those fake cowboy shirts, but not all at the same rodeo. the best corduroy colors are navy and caramel brown, but gray and chocolate should get you laid. always chose thin pile cords – never pleated. corduroy is masculine and sexy like mariska hargitay. every time i see a guy in a pair of nice fitting cords or a professor corduroy blazer i am transported to my first gay porn and all its splendor. the first gay porn i watched was pretty good too.
Dandies and Lesbians and Fashion – Oh My!
there are a few fashion looks that are absolute and timeless. they are neither fads nor follies. i do not point out these particular looks because i am the biggest cock-sucking faggy homo out there- i simply speak the truth. these two gorgeous types of ensembles are that of the “dandy” and that of the “later in life lesbian”.
if we look at the animal kingdom, we see that a colorful flourish can mean the difference between getting laid with frequency of kate hudson vs. jimmy kimmel. fashion acting as a kind of foreplay, as it were. 
there is a dandy movement happening right now in the congo which can often mean sacrificing dinner for vanity. think andre 3000 with a cock that hangs somewhere around his knees. these guys are all pinstripes and pocket-squares, color and cool. there are few things sexier on a man than a well-tailored suit mixed with the true desire to be wearing said garment. yum-mers! a dash of femininity makes the throat defying cock go down.
then we have the later in life lesbian look – think meredith baxter or cynthia nixon, or even that extremely well-executed character on the l word played by cybill shepard. this sort of look is feminine without being girly and would never be mistaken for butch. a rouge lesbian as opposed to a lipstick lesbian. femininity exerted with measured restraint – there isn’t a trace of desperation to be had here people.
whatever your gender identity, there can be a lesson learned from the opposite sex. temper the sword or sharpen the flower.
i have a date with hilary clinton and prince, i really must be going. ciao.
Come spend a night your favorite Faggus! Aug. 15th. Red Devil Lounge.
Faggus Says: Wear STRIPES and KNEE SOCKS Right Now!
the 4th of july has come (for some of you cum) and gone and that means the sun is in the astrological sign of cancer and that means all the whiniest, most passive-aggressive people with major daddy issues you know are about to have a birthday. let’s celebrate the shitty lives and tiny fashion successes of our two favorite cancer fuckups: lindsay lohan and courtney love. 
some would say they are cut from the exact same cloth, but i know better. while courtney is ‘nobody’s daughter’, all babydoll dresses and dating homosexuals- lindsay is everyone’s daughter, all rebellion and lesbo obsessions. they are both degenerate drug addicts who long for the adoration and warmth that was missing when they were just wee whorey, chain-smoking, finger fucking little lasses.
courtney went from pudgy loudmouth musical idiot to pathetic CPS case with multiple failed attempts at rehab and mothering. her current look is often messy but always sexy, lots of lace and weave and pasty white cold skin. you get the feeling, looking at courtney, that she is as over her tragedy as the rest of us. lindsay thinks she is just getting started, but then so did river phoenix. lilo wears lots of black and restalyne, frequently changing her hair color while consistently dingy because of the pills and her freckles. i would love nothing more than to dip them both in bleach, put a fire hose on them, and then dip in amnonia for good measure, but the whole “sad lost girl” thing is all they’ve got. good news: they have shown us the right way to wear my favorite two trends right now: stripes and knee socks.
lindsay frequently has ashy knees because she gets her fake tanner sprayed on while she going down on samro – her poor assistant. anyway, she does knee socks right, always dark but varied lengths and texture. courtney somehow knows that stripes are all about stark contrast right now, anything else looks clowny. thank you and happy birthday losers!
ps – i hope you readers had a dandy holiday weekend filled with adderal induced starry eyes, stripes on your chests, and socks at your knees…if nothing else
Sex and the City 2 – Most Pro-LGBT Movie Ever?
no fashion blog would be complete this week without a review of the obstencibly fashionable movie “sex and the city 2″. don’t get me wrong, i absolutely love patricia field and all the fucking faboush styling work she does, but i think things got a little unprofessional on that movie set. patricia quite transparently felt at odds with cynthia nixon during shooting, there is no other explanation for the hideously frumpy unflattering and poopy-colored “miranda” getups. vomit. vomit. puke. can’t blame it on having to work with bright red hair either, our fair patricia is a firecrotch/clown pussy herself and it has never been an obstacle before. gossip.
however, the halston heritage, the keith haring, the chanel, the louboutins and blahniks, those now famous MYKITA sunglasses, and stellar standout pieces from holly fulton made “carrie” and “samantha” look like the icons they supposedly are. charlotte looks alright. i guess.
the real story here isn’t the fashion at all. following in the impressive footsteps of the ‘nightmare on elm street’ series of movies, part 2 is definitely the “gay one.” in the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell” we have on our hands one of the most pro-LGBT movies ever made. the stylist, the writer/director, the producer, and two of the main stars are all openly gay which is somehow still rare in hollywood. in the movie there is an opulently delicious foie gras torchon of a gay wedding (gay), liza singing a beyonce song (gay²), and a trip to abu dhabi complete with a karoake “i am woman” sing-along with a bevvy of tacky faux arab eurotrash belly dancers and a camel toe pun (gay³).
none of this holds a pink triangle shaped candle to the huge statement 
about sexuality and identity made by the (producers casting the tv show ages ago when they chose that male to female trans kid from the movie “real genius” as their) main character. three cheers to you for opening doors for those who hope to follow. bravery.
Pop Stars Gone Drag Queen. Fit or Phat?
Sex+Design, specifically fashion design is what brings us here today. Sexy, fashion, sex-y fashion, fashion sex- when these two words are paired a number of people could come to mind. Sure, i could write about Madonna, Michelle Obama, or Lara Stone, but being obvious like that isn’t sex or fashion. No no, let’s focus on two very different and unlikely choices: Mariah Carey and Kristen Stewart.
Ok, Mariah Carey will never really know how to dress well and she will never have style, personal or otherwise, but she does have sex+fashion. Her clothing is ALWAYS 3 sizes too small = HOT and she has to wear 2 extra layers of Spanx to sausage-case her back fat- but Mariah Carey is clearly a bacchanal tart. She eats too much, drinks too much, probably does too much coke or at least used to, and fucks that squirrely child-husband of hers too much. Mariah Carey is a sessy hybrid of miss piggy and a paperbag full of legal Nevada hookers. When a person is too busy being sensually excessive, said person is too fucking busy to worry about style or clothes. She doesn’t even bother with those ridiculous My Little Pony hairdon’ts she used to perpetually try to out-diva herself with. She’s no Kate Moss or Sienna Miller thank God (or P. Diddy). Those women make fashion a serious task and though I can’t say I don’t love their fashion aesthetics, it is not terribly sexy to obsess about carbs and date abusive men who fuck around on you with the nanny or are Pete Doherty. Mariah Carey LOVES Mariah Carey. That is sex+fashion.
On the other hand, Kristen Stewart looks like shit in a dress and any other attractive clothing. Absolutely crap. Her legs and arms appear to be at odds with her torso. There’s always violent Sean Penn versus Amy Winehouse versus Chris Brown type brawl between her hair and makeup, but again she exhibits sex + fashion because her fashion sense is so very terrible. Not akward in a Tina Fey “what the fuck do i do with this strap on this dress”, but more like Jodi Foster or Lily Tomlin or K.D. Lang cluelessness. Kristen is too busy getting stoned, taking her “craft” seriously, hanging out with a fag in her mouth, and/or dressing up Robert Pattinson as a young Melissa Ethridge back stage at Lilith fair for fuck times to give a shit about clothes. I can’t wait for her cinco de gayo people magazine cover. Too bad it will be 17 years from now after her pluck is all gone. selfish bitch.
item of the week: prom dress