Sex
The OKCupid Chronicles – You Should Message Me If…
By Kelly Kate Warren
Right now, I am all about REFORMED SCUMBAGS and DUDE-BROS.
Reformed scumbags are dudes like the ones I’m friends with and have dated but whom have rejected the scumbag lifestyle for stuff like “having a job” and “not being wasted all the time.” Reformed scumbags still get shitty on the weekends but don’t hate themselves enough to be permanently drunk. Reformed scumbags have had sex with enough people to [ Read More...]
The OKCupid Chronicles – An Introduction
By Kelly Kate Warren
AN INTRODUCTION OF SORTS
There is something wrong with me. When I walk into a dive bar and am greeted by the smell of puke & PBR, the montage of flannels and black beanies leaves only one thought in my head:
I WANT YOUR BEARD BURN ALL OVER ME.
I am a grown-ass woman. I have two jobs. I have my own, sweet fucking studio apartment. I have health insurance. [ Read More...]
Cheating with Honor? The Holy Grail of Monogamy
By Janelle Boatright, M.A.
I know, I know, “til death do us part,” and “I only have eyes for you” sounds really romantic, but let’s be honest, that’s a holy crock of shit for most of us. After watching our parents divorce and cheat with the best of them, many of us are left scratching our heads thinking, “what’s next?” While the monogamous dydadic relationship model still works for a good 30 to 40% of the [ Read More...]
How Homo is Your Homie? A Guide to the Kinsey Scale
By Kevin DeSpain
It was 10 am on a Sunday morning and I was at the bar fucked up. I was higher than a kite catching a warm summer’s breeze. It was summer alright – except it was summer in San Francisco which meant it felt like winter and the breeze was anything but warm. If it’s 10am on a Sunday and you are still trying to keep the party going (when you should’ve pumped the [ Read More...]
Texas Two-Step … Bosnian Edition
The Sensitive Player By Alex Crevar
Most connect Sarajevo with the war of the 90s, when mortar shells rained down on the capital of Bosnia and Herzegovina. If they think about it, that is. After all, it’s a place stuck somewhere in an area once called Yugoslavia, which is somewhere in that blurry blob in Southeastern Europe among countries with communist-sounding names.
Some really old timers would perhaps remember that the First World War started here when [ Read More...]
The Hot Marriage – Sex, Drugs and Synth Pop Stars
By The Wife
Thursday Mission District 10:30pm
My girls have just gone home after a really lovely dinner. I made a savory tart with home made crust; we drank rosé, and laughed until we cried. I am cleaning up the detritus of my little party when I get a text from The Husband telling me that I really must come to the party he is at. You see, one of our best friends, D, is a former [ Read More...]
Snapshots From a Call Girl – Benny
By Girl Next Door
Benny
$1500
I meet him at Absinthe in Hayes Valley. I wear the black Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress with the super low neckline and the long Van Cleef & Arpels silver chain that hangs to my navel and nestles just in between my breasts. He asked me to wear the red D&G shoes he bought me, so I do, although they are a size too small and hurt my feet. I think [ Read More...]
Snapshots From a Call Girl – Steven
By Girl Next Door
Steven
$1000/$2000
His house was in the hills of Pacific Heights, a part of town I don’t find myself in often. He asked me to meet him there and although I was wearing six-inch Gucci leather boots that covered my knees, I remember feeling very small as I stood in the giant doorway of his huge home. Generally, I prefer to meet men in public settings before I get to know them, however this [ Read More...]
The Hot Marriage – Yes, it’s Possible
By The Wife
Tuesday: Mission District: 11:30PM
I am lying naked next to my husband. My finger traces his nipple– slowly and
deliberately making its way down… down… down. I drag my nails lightly back up
towards his chest grabbing- perhaps a little too hard once I reach my destination.
My hand wanders back towards his waistband, I slip a finger into the elastic
of his underwear. I hear a breath catch in his throat. I stop and listen intently.
He is [ Read More...]
Snapshots From a Call Girl – Daniel
By Girl Next Door
Daniel
$1800
He wanted to take me to the Massive Attack concert at the Fillmore. He asked me to wear a short skirt although he didn’t explain why or give any other instruction. Men often like to dress me up. I picked a flouncy Michael Kors silk skirt in black and paired it with a Dolce Blazer I just bought that day. I wore my hair down, long and straight and shiny red lip [ Read More...]
